Bill Fogarty:
now officially half-Mormon

Bill's work is derived from his intense love of nature. An avid outdoorsman, Bill spends countless hours studying the petals of flowers, cayaking upstream and tickling puppies.

Art by Bill FogartyThe greatest influence on Bill's work has been, (obviously), Claude Van Gogh. Bill recently converted, is now officially "half-Mormon", and every other day he wears the pointy ears. Bill tries hard not to stare at midgets, but when occasionally confronted with retarded midgets or birds trained to ride miniature bicycles, Bill cannot prevent himself from gawking.

Bill is currently writing a book about a short, mentally handicapped man, (not midget), who inheirits a wig that transforms him into a crazy dentist. That last sentence was serious. Bill was nearly attacked by a llama a few years ago. That was also serious. Bill works in a shopping mall, and is working on becoming the "official artist" for several porographic websites.

Sadly, also serious. Bill likes to listen to conservative talk radio, but votes Libertarian. Bill spent 3 weeks trying to buy a fake chicken. Bill frequently crashes family reunions to get free t-shirts. Bill's paintings are usually about floral arrangements, or beautifully landscaped yards. When not painting yards or flowers, Bill tries to titillate and entertain people with pictures to compensate for his weight and bad haircut. Bill names most of his pictures after random, obscure words found in the dictionary. Bill used to photograph young boys dressed like prostitutes, but he doesn't do that anymore. Bill was the creator and publisher of the "Space Monkey Newsletter&" back in 1998. Purchasing one of Bill's paintings is better than allowing Sally Stuthers to prolong the suffering of starving children.

Bill is a good cook, but a less than average baker. Bill's paintings were censored 4 times in 2 days by and accredited univertisty, and Bill was subsequntly lambasted on the 2nd largest radio station in the United States by someone who has his own brand of Bar-B-Que sauce. Bill is 27 years old and cannot grow a beard. Bill will be making chicken and dumplings on Friday. Bill secretly wishes that people would take him and his artwork seriously, but has irrepairably damaged his credibility with everyone he knows.

Bill Fogarty
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